Friday, March 15, 2013

PERKONGSIAN : Purdah : How i finally made the decision...


Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.Salam Jumaat buat sahabat dikasihi.

Sebentar tadi ain terbaca nurkilan seorang niqabis yang berkongsi kisah perjalananannya sebelum dan sesudah berniqab.SubhanAllah Alhamdulillah.

Tidak rugi untuk dikongsikan bersama.Semoga bermanfaat buat muslimah di luar sana, insyaAllah.





Purdah : How i finally made the decision... 

"Eversince my husband exposed me to the work of da'wah in 2007, I developed a new circle of friends who were different than friends in my office & in university. These women I befriended always talk about Deen, about the life of sahabah, and about imaan & amaal.

One thing that they all had in common is that they all wore the niqab (purdah). Although I enjoy their company, I didnt think that i was going to follow that aspect because:

- It didnt seem.....necessary
Eventhough not wearing a niqab, i still pray 5 times, I fast and I make time for da'wah contribution. Just likethem.

- Career
In those years, i was still professionally working. Making a huge change in my appearance just because i now join a da'wah effort wasnt really a.......hmmm..........an 'attractive' idea?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In 2010 we migrated to Perth. Since my husband's friends were da'wah people, i found myself (again) in the company of veiled women. I was the only one who was not wearing a purdah. Nevertheless, my friends were just as nice & never isolated me.

Later that year we moved to a city in NewSouthWales and again, Allah surrounded me with women who made the Deen as top priority in their life. And yes...they all wear purdah except me LOL. Altogether, it has been 3 long years that I have been friends with veiled-women but I still never think about following them in that department. Why wear purdah? I still attend ilm gathering regularly, I still fulfill my responsibilities in the jemaah eventhough Im 'purdahless'.
.
Such was my thinking then.
.
The triggering point was this time when the Malaysian community here organized a farewell party for a family. Unlike parties held by friends in my circle, the Msian party didn't really separate between the men and women. Deep down I didnt really condone a mixed-gender party but i was too weak to initiate about such a 'strange' issue to other people. I just went with the flow while at the same  time trying to limit my interaction with brothers and people's husbands.
.
In a free-mix setting like that, it was almost impossible to actually do that LOL. People just come up to you and initiate a small chat, you dont really have time to decide if it was a necessary chat or an unnecessary one. By necessary i mean interaction that is lawful under the syariah such as education, trade, etc etc...
.
In this regard, I had a background knowledge that we should only talk to non-mahram when there is a real need. I knew well frm fatwa of various Muftis that empty chatting with opposite gender is totally not within the teachings of Rasulullah s.a.w. Practically, this is easily achieved when a party separates male and female but in a free-mix setting, you really have to be 'tactical'. Either you DON'T go near the men at all, or...............................hehe i dont know ;p
.
Among the male-attendees who spoke to me that day (he surely had a pure intention) was a brother whose physical look had the features that I always got attracted to when I was still unmarried. So, no matter how I hate to admit it, he was a goodlooking brother in my eyes and is the type that I would say "yes" to if he was to ask me out (say, i wasnt yet married).
.
I chatted with him for less than 2 minutes, but...the sight of his goodlooking face & well-manners kept visiting me days and days after that. This lasted for weeks, there were unlawful thoughts that either came from iblis or from my own nafs, wallahua'lam. It was something you cant really control. You just kept remembering the man, especially that he is very well-mannered (good akhlak)
.
At this point, for the first time it occured to me how LUCKY are my veiled-friends. Guys never come up to them let alone initiate a chat! Wherever they go, men would stay away and only talk to them when they have to (e.g selling and buying, education set-up, formal matters etc). It was for the first time that i felt like I was at a disadvantage, previously my thought was...
.
"....poor them, must be hard wearing a purdah...i wonder how they cope...."
.
Allahuakbar, now Allah is showing me that actually it is ME who is poor you! I was falling deep into syaitaan's trap, my heart was constantly being entered by the sight of a haraam-man because I chatted with him for two minutes. Had i been wearing a purdah like my friends, the chat would probably have not taken place at all. The purdah is usually a "stay-away" sign, men usually puts you in exception and will not invite you to small chats.
.
This whole mess made me start thinking about wearing a veil. It finally showed me that people wear a purdah not because they want to be seen as pious or as better than those not wearing. Instead, they wear it because purdah helps guarantee purity of the heart...it helps you stay away from fitnah to the heart like what i endured. In Prophet's  time, the sahabah were excellent in akhlak, they dont engage in empty chats with women and they dont glance around wherever their eyes take them. Today men's akhlak is not even half of that, it is difficult to make a bold statement like I DO NOT TALK TO MY NON-MAHRAM UNLESS IT IS NECESSARY without being judged by your male (and female) counterparts.
.
The idea of purdah finally sank in me and I began making extensive research on the dalil of purdah. The more i read, the more i felt that arguments supporting purdah is wajib was likeable to my heart. I found myself in the same boat of ulama' in Shafi'e Hanafi Maliki Hanbali who stressed that purdah is a must, I found myself naturally finding tune with their dalil and whenever I try to switch to the other boat (that says purdah is only sunnah), I found myself arguing inside....it was quite an interesting thinking process because one side of me tried to persuade that purdah is just sunnah but the other side of me would immediately disagree.
.
At this point, I knew that Allah was sending me guidance and i thought...it is NOW or never. Allah is sending me hidaayah and if i choose to just pass, to just ignore it, maybe He will NEVER give me this hidayah again. So in June 2011...i finally made the decision to wear a purdah and I can never stress enough how glad I am that I made that decision.
.
MasyaAllah.
.
Since wearing it, it was waaayyy easier for me to go anywhere where there are men (either a party or a market or the masjid) because they now kept some distance from me and would only come up near if they had to request or ask for anything. What a wonderful life! My voice and face is now only for my husband, I dont fall into empty chats anymore with non-mahram and Subhanallah, that has a really huge effect on purifying the heart.
.
.
Purifying the heart is a long journey.
A purdah doesnt mean you've arrived at the end of that journey.
A purdah...
Takes you miles ahead (fast forward) than your last standing spot.
.
.
May Allah guide whoever is thinking about a purdah and make it easy for them, my du'a is for everyone whether you are a hijabi or a niqabi :-)
Jazakallah for reading!"
.
by: mk
.
------------this article is Public, sharing is permissible by writer -----------------------


Semoga bermanfaat.

Salam Perjuangan,
Nur'Ain Vivian 

5 comments:

  1. subhanallah.. teguhnya iman beliau dan terasa kerdilnya diri ini. :( ramai yang mengambil mudah perihal pergaulan antara lelaki-wanita yg bukan mahram ni kan. bertepuk tampar, bersenda gurau.. ketawa terbahak-bahak sesama wanita-lelaki adalah senario yang biasa waktu bekerja dulu.. astaghfirullah...

    ReplyDelete
  2. assalamualaikumm ukhti nur... mimi ni.. ingt lagi tak? hee seronok sgt dgr kisah akak ni,. subhanallah.. betapa Allah syg kita kan kak? Dia beri kita petunjuk ke jalan Nya n bagi kita rasa bahagia bila berniqab dlm masa sama memelihara diri kita.. manisnya Islam.. =) thanks 4 sharing ur lovely story ^_^

    ReplyDelete
  3. Assalamualaikum OneSimpleMother.
    Setiap daripada kita pasti pernah berlaku silap, dan dari kesilapan itulah kita belajar untuk berubah, berubah ke arah kebaikkan.
    Masih belum terlambat, pintu taubat sentiasa terbuka buat hamba-hamba NYA yang ikhlas mencari redha Allah SWT.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wa'alaikumussalam Mimi =)
    Maaf ye dik agak lama baru berkesempatan balas mesej adik ni.
    Moga Allah permudahkan urusan kita dunia akhirat, aamiin.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Assalamualaikumwarahmatullah.. Ingin bertanya, saya masih berumur 15 tahun.. Sudah beberapa hari saya teringin mencari tahu tentang purdah.. Terasa ingin memakai tetapi, saya berfikir, "takkan nak pakai dekat luar je.. Di sekolah pun kena ke?" Itu antara dialog didalam hati.. Boleh ke kalau saya buat macam tu??

    ReplyDelete

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
Terima kasih pada semua yang sudi meluangkan masa membaca blog ain. Pendapat / pandangan anda amat ain hargai..

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

SAHABAT NUR

SAHABAT NUR